Shocked & elated hardly begin to touch how she was feeling. She was already on cloud 9 to be a grandma for the first time, but she had never imagined sharing the twin mom experience with one of her own daughters. As a kid, I remember how mom had always talked about the pregnancy like it was special. It was my mom’s second pregnancy so she had something to compare it to. She said she felt like she was growing an octopus, yet she still didn’t find out about us until she was over 5 months along. I remember hearing the story about the ultrasound, where they finally found my sister. My mom had asked if she was sure that there was only one in there to which the technician replied ‘Yes’. Then a few minutes later she said, ‘Hold on, I thought I should do a little more digging before I was too sure.’ My mom loves telling the story of how afterwards, she and my brother drove out to find my dad at work on the outskirts of town to share the news. My dad walked up to them and asked how things went, and my cute curly-haired blonde brother responded, ‘We’re gonna have 2 babies in our house!’ My dad was taken aback and his eyes got big. They still lived in a small travel trailer, and he looked at my mom in disbelief as he said, ‘No S***?’ We were about to see how dad would take the news the second time around.
As you saw at the end of mom’s reaction video, she wondered how long she had to keep it a secret. After we had told her we were pregnant a couple weeks prior, she asked the same questions and was nervous when we told her that we weren’t going to tell anybody until 12-13 weeks or so. She’s not the best at keeping secrets when she’s really excited about them. Technically she still had about 5 weeks to go, but that’s not what happened. She lasted about 30 seconds. As she ran into her office to find her keys so she could go find my dad, she exclaimed, ‘I’m having twins! Well my daughter is having twins!’ Don’t worry, Farm and I were over the moon with excitement and knew we weren’t going to keep it a surprise for long anyway, but we did live in a small town so we knew we needed to tell our closest family and friends ASAP. She proceeded to tell them that she would be back after she found my dad and ran out.
Mom hung up from our FaceTime and called my dad to find out where he was. Thankfully it didn’t take long to find him, because in her attempt to not spill the beans, she just asked where he was. He was afraid something went wrong at the ultrasound and was worried sick. Strangely enough, as we were waiting for my dad to come down in the bucket truck (He was a lineman for a local power company), mom shared a strange coincidence. Exactly 29 years prior, to the week, she found my dad on this exact same block after her ultrasound. We decided it was only fitting to tell him the exact same way.
We continued to chat for a while and started to compile our list of all the people we knew we needed to tell including my Grandma, sister, brother, and a long list of others. Next on our list was of course my Grandma. She was at a doctor’s appointment with her husband so we just called her. When she asked how ‘it’ was we responded that ‘they’ were doing fine. She picked up on ‘they’ right away, and couldn’t hold in her best Grandma Little giggle as she kept saying, ‘Oh my!’
Everybody else on our list was at work so we sent my siblings & their spouses the first ultrasound picture with no accompanying text. We also started to text that same picture to our closest family and friends. I don’t remember everyone’s exact response as the day was a bit of a blur, but it seems as though half of responders wondered if we were kidding and half sent back an excited congratulatory response. Yes, we were only 7 weeks. It was early, and some people would argue it’s too soon to share such big news, but we couldn’t hold it in. The secret was out, but we waited to share it with social media until about 12 weeks after a couple more ultrasounds.
A decent chunk of time had passed and we decided that we really needed to get to work. I drove to work, but I honestly didn’t get much done. I did however get some good ol’ googling in. At the ultrasound they couldn’t find the membrane. This is important in identifying mono-di twins vs mono-mono twins but I wasn’t exactly sure what this meant, hence the google searching. I found out that either way we had identical twins and that the biggest difference regarding the membrane was whether or not I would have additional risks for complications. This lead me down the wormhole of googling complications. For the record, I do NOT recommend that any expecting twin mom google twin pregnancy complications. It’s a little terrifying. I was immediately filled with fear about ‘disappearing twin’ and I was pretty certain that if they didn’t disappear, that I would develop gestational diabetes, twin to twin transfusion syndrome, and be on bed rest by 14 weeks. Please don’t google, just ask your perinatologist. 4 weeks later when we got to meet ours, she helped set my mind at ease. She talked about the risks, the plan for monitoring and how I could leave the worrying up to her. If anyone expecting twins lives in the Greater Portland Area and is insured through Kaiser, I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Elizabeth Brass! She was truly amazing in every way.
Alright, back to February 17th. I was at work, but not getting much done so I googled one more thing. When to tell your boss that you’re expecting. There are all sorts of opinions on this and it really comes down to your relationship and what you’re comfortable with. However, the common thread throughout all the recommendations was that it was best if your boss hears you’re pregnant from you. I really liked working for my boss, I respected him and I wanted to give him time to find my temporary coverage ASAP as I was anticipating every possible complication. So, I went into his office and told him I wanted to take him to lunch. I had no idea what twin pregnancy would bring, when I would go out on leave, how much time my appointments would take from work, etc. so I wanted to be as transparent as possible. As I was sharing every single worry, he was beaming ear to ear and telling me to calm down and that everything would be ok. All the monitoring and juggling of maternity leave coverage was not easy, but I hope that your boss takes it in stride like mine did.
The rest of the day was a blur. I remember feeling mostly excited with a splash of fear and a dash of disappointment about likely missing my brothers wedding. But outside of that, I stayed optimistic and hoped for the best. The next morning, I made Farmer take a picture of me. I was feeling bloated already and wanted a pre-bump picture. I figured I may never be that skinny ever again. I also called the daycare at my work to reserve 2 spots for January, and called David’s bridal to change the size I’d ordered for my bridesmaid dress. When the lady on the other end of the phone recommended going up 3 sizes for a twin pregnancy, I thought to myself a size 17 isn’t too bad. When she responded that sizes go up in even numbers and I would actually need a size 20, I almost choked on my tea! I’m pretty sure I whispered, ‘that’s fine’ and tried not to think about all the changes I was about to put my body through. To change my train of thought, I started adjusting our baby registry and got to work on plans for the nursery renovation.
More on ‘Our Story’ and Creating a Nursery coming soon.